inside my head

tinkertantrums:

sethee:

dawndie:

joserizal:

blackhoodie:

because you can and you want that tumblr stickr.

Hollr! Gusto ko ng stickr. Tumblr gusto ko ng stickr.

STICKR! STICKR!

TUMBLR!GUSTONG-GUSTO KO NG ISTIKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ISTIKURR!

 STICKR PLEASE!

199 days ago….

you go figure.

my tooth aches.

but not as bad as my heart.

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don’t like conflict. Because you’re so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don’t judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren’t necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people’s eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You’re a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you’ll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

oh dear god.

why doesn’t something exciting happen to me? everyone i know has got something to look forward to.

my cuzin’s flying out to a new life, everyone i know is hooking up, others are just living their lives like they haven’t got a care in the world, and even earth itself is expecting more changes than it ever had in lightyears. meanwhile, here i am, in front of this stupid computer, without someone three-dimensional to talk to, just wiped my eyes out after watching the lord of the rings extended version for the 47th time and drooling over aragorn, wishing so damn hard that i was arwen.

what-a-loser.

yeah sure, i have a new job, new work environment, but still, it’s in darn cavite! i could sneeze three times and get to my work and cartwheel my way back without a sense of excitement at all. don’t get me wrong, i love my new job. it’s the very first job i had where i could finally have a sense of fulfillment. but i feel like my world’s getting smaller and i am this close to having 7-11 as my ultimate happy place! really? what is up with that??

i miss the butterflies in my stomach. the dancing lights in the streets. taxi cabs in line. stupid dumb ass coniotic people that i so love to mock. skyscrapers. that romantic feeling that gives you a chill in your bone. that stupid smile in my face that i just couldn’t erase. the same old feeling.

now, i am absolutely at a loss for what i could look forward to.

what’s next after this? 

before i used to feel like anything could happen. that there’s magick in every single corner i turn and that a genie would just appear one day making all my wishes come true. that i was in fairyland known as magenta goldburry with dark black curly hair, striking green eyes, olive skin and a matching flowy gold chiffon dress hand in hand with the one person i might as well call as my soulmate. we stroll around my garden where there are flowers of all sorts: roses, tulips, carnations, daisies and lilies, daffodils and rosemaries. the air has a tiny scent of unicorn breath, the trees are moist from phoenix tears, the ground is soft as a goose down feather bed, and the waters, sweet like an angel’s lips and gleeming like the chandeliers.

but the fantasy ends there. this is the sad and awful truth: there is no magick in every corner, only muggers waiting for a victim. no genie to make wishes come true, only wowowee or eat bulaga as the next best thing. am not known as magenta goldburry, my name doesn’t even come close. my untidy hair, drooling eyes and business casual wear, certainly nobody to call a soulmate, only mang pedro, the trustworthy guard man patient enough to watch through the night and despite the heavy hours of the evening, still smiles with fake teeth on. no flowers of all sorts, only garbage on the sidewalk and its stench as bad as unicorn filth. the trees are dead with just a leaf or two, the ground as hard as a pavement could get, and the waters, oh the waters, there shall lie orcs of a hundred.

somebody stop me and hold my tongue, unscrew my brain and be undone.

i just want the same old feeling. amaze me with the lights, take me up to the highest towers where i could smile stupidly, laugh crazily, love like an idiot, take my breath away, live in a fantasy, hold me tight, wrap me around and seal me with a kiss.

just that, please?

*****

I THANK YOU. BOW.
audience claps.
THE END

Don’t you know I’ve tried and I’ve tried
To get you out my mind
But it don’t get no better
As each day goes by
And I’m lost and confused
I’ve got nothin to lose
Hope to hear from you soon
P.S. I’m still not over you

my heart is on fire and so is the world

a burning desire for one little girl.

the guitar strums echoing my pain

yet one more day i have to live again.

face the sunlight burning like my heart

here i go again, about to fall apart.

my poor, poor spirit broken like an arrow

never have i ever felt this hollow.

my heart is on fire and so is the world

a burning desire for one little girl.

the guitar strums echoing my sickness

as i shove off every single witness.

here i go again, about to fall apart

my heart is on fire begging for a restart.

yet i live one more day numb from the pain

as i see her face smiling at me again.

*for my mom, because i love her to death, no matter how shitty the world gets, i’d bare all its crap for her*

I was tagged in facebook by a friend of mine asking me to write 25 things about myself. Thought it was fun, so why not share it here also?

Here goes…

1. People really close to me call me Yoyoy. That’s my nickname and I love it.
2. I like things that are unusual. They seem more special than all the other ones.
3. I am a walking contradiction.
4. I sing in the shower.
5. I cry in the shower.
6. I don’t bathe in the shower, that’s what tubs are for.
7. Yes I do have regrets, but it’s time I’ve moved on. Hell was I a bad girl.. But at one point or another, weren’t we all?
8. I took up voice lessons under Mr. Ryan Cayabyab, though my family would testify in a heartbeat that they wasted cold hard cash for doing so as I am still out of tune.
9. I like solitary walks.
10. I wish I was Liv Tyler.
11. I claim to have renovated my room when in fact it’s still one big mess.
12. The farthest place I’ve been to was Puerto Galera. Nope, I haven’t been to Palawan, or Boracay, not even Baguio!
13. I love the Dave Matthews Band, Matt Nathanson, Schuyler Fisk, Josh Radin and Damien Rice. But I also do love Hansons. mmmBop!
14. I believe that there’s a higher power, if that power’s name is God, then so be it. If not, life will move on and on like how it does until you’re sick of it.
15. Writing is my passion.
16. I would always secretly wish that I was an inch or two taller, 20 pounds lighter, and a billion dollars richer.
17. But heck, it is what is, still I’m happy to be living in my reality.
18. I am oblivious, especially when I have food, I really don’t mind what’s going on around me.
19. I have imaginary friends.
20. I live in an imaginary world.
21. I am part mafia, and part bunny. Analyze that.
22. My motto in life: LIVE. LAUGH. LEARN. LOVE. DIE. AND LIVE AGAIN.
23. I have my own theory how the world evolved and I think dolphins are the most intelligent creatures.
24. Would this be enough to fill your thoughts?
25. I don’t really mind anyway.

peace.Ü