I wish we could all say this in real life. 

I’m sure we were all screwed over by frog looking bitches who think they look so pretty at one point in our lives. And no matter how much you want to shun away the idea of tying her on train tracks and let the MRT run her over, it just becomes so tempting sometimes, especially on days when she smiles so fake you want to rip that stupid face apart. 

In Hollywood, situations like these become worthy of plots where the frog-faced bitch is blackmailed and summoned to self-pity and regret for all the days of her life. (What up Gossip Girl?) Revenge is sweet, and life will be lived happily ever after. 

But not in the real world. 

Here, you force yourself a plastic smile whenever she passes you by and swallow your anger like a huge bitter pill. Here, revenge is uncalled for even when her backstabbing was most uncalled for in the first place. Here, her stupid fugly face gets the last laugh, while you, unlike the well-connected girls of the Upper East Side, horridly enough, laugh along with her for fear of losing your only source of income even when you badly want to choke her with her own stubby fingers just so her wide-opened mouth makes sense.

Why can’t she just drop dead? One would think.

Then again, why not try thinking about cupcakes, rainbows, unicorns, heaven, or those oh-so-pretty red Prada shoes? I’m pretty sure they are much more worthy thoughts than frog-faced lunatics trying to pull you down. 

This too shall pass. And you know what? You have more to offer than gossip, bitterness, and ass-kissing, self-righteous emails. The world ain’t seen nothing yet, and one day, this fugly bitch will grow old and die still looking and acting like the frog-faced crook she is. While you, well, walk the right path, pray, and keep on keepin’ on, and you’ll look all sorts of pretty until your last day on earth. 

So while it may not be the badass kung fu revenge you had badly hoped for, and played in your head again and again, it’s better and more powerful than anything else.

Revenge is.. an unsweetened sugar. Still sweet, but healthy.