**Wrote this last 15 March 2011, and after 8 (going on 9) long months, a part of me still feels the same way. I’ll miss you always Meng. ♥**

Sometimes I’d be okay. Accept the fact that you’re gone. Know in my heart that you are now in a happy place. A place that I could only ever dream about. A place that I could only walk upon once I, too, am sound asleep. 

Other times I’d breakdown and cry. Broken as I was when I first realised of your departure. And I would feel it. That fresh, gaping hole in my heart that you left empty. It would ache. And again I would not understand why. 

This is one of those days, I should say. 

I was merely a friend. And yet here I am, sobbing in pain. 

On the other hand, such a feeling would confirm what I always knew you were: A special Gift from God. Especially wrapped from Him to us. And I would feel ever more grateful that He lent you to the world. Our world. My world. 

I would always, always wish for one more everythings from you. And I am damn sure, I am not alone in wishing this.

You’re probably smiling, half-giggling like the way you always did, saying “chuchu ka chesi!” 

But do forgive me for being too overly dramatic. Pardon my humanity. You wouldn’t approve of this, I know. All I’m trying to say is that I miss you. Every bit of you.

Maybe tomorrow I’d be okay again. And the day after that, and the day after that. But for now, I weep. I let my grieving heart take the best of me. It’s become weak after all, and I shall put it to no further strain than it already is. So I let it weep. 

Such a cruel thing, parting is. Especially when you are the one left earthbound. 

Oh well, the morrow’s coming. And while I would love to end this on a high note and provide inspiration to the unfortunate readers of this occasional breakdown (darn grief), there is none that I could find. Only tears. And I don’t even have a decent tissue to wipe them with.

P.S.

You had to be that awesome? You could have been normal, annoying, you could have blended in with the shadows. Yet you chose to be the way you were. And now… well, now the world’s less awesome without you.   

She’s gone but I’m alive, I’m alive. I’m coming in the graveyard, to sing you to sleep now.

- Graveyard, Tori Amos